Good morning to all my friends and family,
I thought that in this process of recovery, it was about time for a blog update. I was feeling pretty good on my ability to update folks, but then this weekend I received some cards and correspondence from friends from far off places who haven't been able to talk with or see me since my surgery. I realized that these dear friends had no idea how I have been the last three weeks.
So, tomorrow will be 3 weeks exactly from surgery. And things in my recovery are going well and I am exactly where I should be. I have good days and bad days. After returning home from the hospital, I was flying high on how much I could do. I was able to walk and stand with minimal help. I continued to have what I'll call minor-moderate belly pain-- mostly at my incision sites. Details about my bowels waking up and working will not be shared, but I will say that the most surprising fact to me was the when my bowels would move I had the most pain at my inside incision. I wasn't expecting that.
Since being home, my biggest problem with recovery has been my level of fatigue and strength. I will say that since my diagnosis with Crohn's I haven't been amazing energy level girl. (And the pathology results from my surgery did show active crohn's-- so my energy reserve the last few months have been low). However, it is taking a long time to get back to my normal level of energy and stamina. I have become queen of taking afternoon naps, couch lounging and small bursts of activity. However, everyday I seem to get a little bit better with feeling like more energy.
However, this have been discouraging. My parent's were wonderful with my post-op period. They stayed here until last weekend and were helping me with get up and active again. I was feeling really good last week and I am very eager to return back to full normal routine and work. However, now since I am on my own I can realize that doing regular home work tasks, cooking and even the focus it takes to drive makes me so tired so easily. I feel like such a weakling, even though my surgeon, my parents and dear husband, keep telling me that this is normal. They all keep saying that time will make this all be better. I think it's hard because I figured the surgery would take out the bad part and I'd be back to normal. However, I forgot that surgery within itself is trauma. I also wasn't mindful that even though I have a lot on intestine--9 inches were taken out and I'm suppose to have those inches.
This leads me to my last new adjustment. I'm trying to figure out the new functioning of my body. Without those 9 inches, things move differently. I'm figuring that all out, especially in light of my traveling job. I'm also trying to wrap my mind around what it has meant to go through all of this. I find that since the surgery, I've been more emotional quickly. I think that with everyone's prayers and thoughts, I sailed through the scariness of surgery and my hospital stay. But part of this surgery kind of seals up this chronic disease thing for me. I'm someone's patient, instead of a provider. I just added something big-ish to my medical history. There's no way for me to avoid that this is a part of me. And yet, I don't want to this all to consume more of my life that usual. I'm trying to process all of this.
