As a fairly educated woman with many talents, there are many things I can do on little notice. I can quick clean the whole 1st level of my house within 20 minutes when company is coming over. I can do a head to toe assessment within 15 minutes and with some skill diagnose a pneumonia, allergies or a host of other medical ailments. I can look at lab panels and interpret them. I can paint a mean picture. I can write a mean thank-you note. I can craft with the best of them--turning coffee bags into roses, old jeans into a purse. I've got all kinds of skills..... and none of them are helping me right now.
I am at what you call a plateau. I have recovered nicely from surgery. I am now, joyfully tolerating a regular diet with no nausea and no increased pain. I can walk around, get out of bed, and bend at my waist with very minimal pain medicine. All are pre-requisets for discharge to home. But the last to do: is still waiting to be done.
We need to know my bowls are working. There are two signs of working bowels: passing gas and having a bowel movement. Now, I am not a girl who enjoys talking about such things. But now, everyone knows this is the last box to check before I go home, everyone I see is asking about my bowels. Everyone. My parents, my in-laws, my doctors, my nurses.... I even got a phone call from my brother -in-law, who lives out of state, who called in a cheerleader style for my bowls to get going..... "Go F-A-R-T-S!".
I can report from the home front, that this morning I did fart twice. But, nothing great to report otherwise. And I so want to be home. I have had great nurses and aides, but I want to sleep in my own bed, be in my own house, have my own space that is shared with my own choosen and loved roommate. But I can't go anywhere till I have a BM. I plead, give me a multiple choice test on anything.... I bet I can get a 70% on most subjects..... I'd bet my walking papers on that. Give me a random test on a novel I read as a 7th grader. If I get a 70%, then let me be discharge. Make me teach a lecture to nursing students, and then give me my papers as rewards..... let me show you my talents in order to earn my escape from 6 west.
I hate this waiting game. For something, I only have minimal control. After all of this, and my ability to make decisions to have surgery and have part of my colon /small intestine removed--you've think my bowels are afraid of me. You'd think that they'd understand who is in charge here and get with the program. But, they will do what they want.
So, prayers for patient for me, and for peristalsis for my bowels. I so would appreciate it.
Love this!
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